did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
