yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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