Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize