I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
