how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I color on your dick again?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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