Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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