Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Sorry about my life...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize