Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize