Please, let me fuck your mom
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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