they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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