what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
