I need to stop coming to work sober
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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