Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
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My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
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Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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