So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
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you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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