Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
