I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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