her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I look better un-naked...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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