can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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