hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
