worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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