Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
