____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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