My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
