do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
