My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
