theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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