I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
