I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I want to fling myself into the sun
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
