I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Houston, we have a blender
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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