he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
