Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
