i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
