You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
