if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
operation have a gay friend backfired
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
