Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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