He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize