I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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