I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
