marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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