return my video game
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
