If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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