note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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