Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
