Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
