I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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