Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I wish there were birth control emojis
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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