Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize