This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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