I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just google imaged poop.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
