Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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