I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize