do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Send help, water and tortillas.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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