I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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