I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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