Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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